


Remember

by LoneWolf_With_Internet



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Eren Loves The Ocean, Levi & Eren Yeager are the Same Age, M/M, POV Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), POV Third Person, Reincarnation, Third Person But Focused On Levi, you get me?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-23
Updated: 2017-01-23
Packaged: 2018-09-19 10:11:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9435584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoneWolf_With_Internet/pseuds/LoneWolf_With_Internet
Summary: Ever since he was young, Levi -- now known to the world as “Liam” in this lifetime -- has suffered from painful memories and flashbacks to the past, to the era of the titans, to the time he fought for his life and fell in love with a young, careless, yet brave little brat. His parents passed off his nightmare-like dreams to the past as Levi having an “active imagination” and with no one else to remember, Levi had come to terms that he’ll have to suffer alone… Even when he finally finds Eren, or “Evan” in this life.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone, this is actually my first try at a one shot so I hope I do good. I'd like to clear something up just to be sure no one is confused with reading: In their current lifetime, the one they live in the story, Mikasa is named "Melissa" Levi is named "Liam" and Eren is named "Evan". I just wanted to be 100% sure no one go confused because I use "Liam" instead of "Levi" during practically the entire story, same with "Evan". (I thought since it's a different lifetime and the "Titan Lifetime" is in history books it made sense to have different names, but I tried my best to make them sound similar to their original names.) 
> 
> NOTE: THIS WAS WRITTEN BEFORE CHAPTER 90 CAME OUT SO IT STRAYED A LITTLE BIT AWAY FROM BEING CANONICAL BECAUSE IT'S MENTIONED THAT THEY NEVER MADE IT TO THE BEACH BUT CHAPTER 90 SAYS THEY DID, DON'T BE CONFUSED
> 
> Anywho, please enjoy!

It was a hard thing to live with, especially at such a young age. Remembering the violent deaths of close friends, remembering the pain both emotional and physical wounds caused, remembering the one person you loved being ripped from your arms by death’s cruel grip… Remembering not being able to live with it. Remembering your attempts to channel your anger and sorrow into combat, only to give up midway to join your love on the other side of the bridge. It hurt. But what hurt the most was being the only one that seemed to remember the tragic history written in textbooks today.

 

This had been the life Liam was cursed with, his dreams never truly being dreams but heart wrenching memories of the past. Since his toddler years Liam had dealt with such pain and sorrow alone, his parents passing it off as having an “active imagination” but he knew better. He knew the truth. He knew he was alone.

 

It was when he attended grade school that Liam was one hundred percent sure his dreams were truly visions of his past life and not simply twisted tales his mind created. Before then, he wasn’t so sure what the large humanoid creatures were or what they were called or even why they existed, his memories being fragmented and showing nothing historical, only death, but upon opening a history textbook for the first time he was drowned by a crashing wave containing the rest of the pieces to the puzzle. He remembered his role in the Survey Corps, he remembered living underground for the longest time before he joined the military, he remembered being important to so many people, but most of all he remembered the person most important to _him_.

 

He remembered those bright teal eyes he fell asleep staring into each and every night. He remembered the tall, tan body that sunk the bed down more than Liam’s own body. He remembered chocolate brown hair tickling his neck when it was time to leave the safety of the blankets. He remembered a soft voice that spoke in loving whispers that tickled his ears. He remembered everything about the boy but at the same time he wished he didn’t. He remembered _Eren_. And it hurt.

 

For the duration of the class, Liam only stared at the pages rather than listened to the teacher. He didn’t need to anyway when he already knew everything that happened. And the longer his silver eyes danced over the pages, he remembered more; he remembered his name. It was no wonder he hated the name “Liam”, he never found it fitting for his persona. Felt the name was too suited for a fuckboy rather than his more self-keeping personality. He liked his past name much better, found it much more suiting to his personality and appearance, but sadly he couldn’t change it no matter how much he wanted to.

 

When he returned home from school that day, Liam locked himself in his room, which wasn’t out of the ordinary for him despite the fact that he missed dinner. When asked why he refused to leave his room, Liam responded with the generic answer of simply wanting to be alone. His parents didn’t bother him after that, and that night Liam cried himself to sleep with the rest of the pieces filling in the blanks.

 

~~~~

 

The summer after his fifteenth birthday, Liam found himself helping his mother out with her gift shop on the beach. He wouldn’t say he hated it, but it wasn’t his favorite pastime in the world. He couldn’t stand the soaking wet strangers tracking in sand with their bare feet or the wet dirt sticking to the floor in the shape of footprints. He absolutely hated when someone took too much time at the register and held up the line, only cramping up the small store further. The only thing he liked about helping his mother out was being close to the beach, and each time he went to take out the trash he made sure to take his time and appreciate the view.

 

This was Liam’s third time disposing trash that day, and he couldn’t be more grateful for being responsible for the cleaning -- when it came to being able to leave the store that was, everything else was horrendous. He had always admired the view of the beach, even if it was from the dumpster a little bit of ways away, and he now knew why he enjoyed it so much; it was because he couldn’t in his past life. The walls were too constricting and the titans too murderous to let them enjoy anything… even love or a comfortable life.

 

The minutes that Liam spent staring towards the brilliantly blue water -- water that reminded him of wondrously curious eyes filled with love -- felt like hours, the sound of the waves crashing against the shore was music to his ears and the overwhelming smell of salt was vile yet pleasant at the same time. There were fewer people than Liam would’ve expected to be there, it being summer vacation after all, but there were other beaches with cleaner shores and better places to obtain food from so it wasn’t too big of a shock. Liam was turning around to head back to his mother’s shop when he heard a squeal of excitement from a small distance away, but he doesn’t exactly decide to turn back around until he heard what followed.

 

“Eren, wait for your sister at least!”

 

Liam turned around at such a high speed that any doctor would’ve been worried he had just given himself whiplash, but he couldn’t care in the least. Silver eyes scanned the horizon for anyone with tan skin and eyes that resembled the ones he dreamt about each and every night. It took less than a second for his eyes to land on a small, tan figure running towards the water with enough enthusiasm for an entire crowd at a concert. His breath hitched in the back of his throat as he watched the figure near the water, hearing a woman speaking much quieter but still coming from the same direction he initially heard her voice come from.

 

“Melissa, go make sure Evan doesn’t hurt himself.”

 

The eyebrows resting above silver eyes furrowed with slight confusion and glanced towards the woman now. ‘ _Evan’_? Had he misheard? Still, it was extremely close to his old lover’s name, hell it was closer than ‘Liam’ was to ‘Levi’. Just because the name was different didn’t mean it couldn’t be who he thought it was…

 

When his eyes decided to pay attention to the people accompanying the enthusiastic boy, Liam realized the familiarity of the girl’s -- Melissa? -- face. _She looks just as Mikasa had long ago,_ he thought to himself. Then maybe it wasn’t simply a coincidence the boy happened to look like a young version of his old love, perhaps he could’ve actually been…

 

“Liam, why has it been taking this long to do such a simple task?” Liam was startled with the voice of his mother alone, but the added hand placed on his shoulder caused him to jump slightly and turn around to face the woman who had come out to search for him. He tilted his head up to look his mother in the eye, pursing his lips as he thought exactly how to answer the question he had been asked. Though, he didn’t get a chance to even try to respond before his mother sighed quietly and turned towards the direction they had both come from.

 

“Come on, Liam, I’m about to close up shop. It’s getting late and we still have errands to run.” The woman didn’t wait for a response before she began walking away, back towards the shop the two would be caring for together during the summer, and with her back turned it only gave Liam a chance to glance towards the water one last time, watching the figure that had run into the water without a second thought splash around gleefully. He would never admit it, but a soft smile of both adoration and longing made its way to Liam’s lips, especially when he realized it was in fact getting late, evident in the darkened blue hues and additional pinks and oranges mixing in the sky above. _What a weirdo…_

 

~~~~

 

Two years had passed since Liam had first seen his reincarnated beauty run across the sand in desperate need to get into the water, and since that day Liam had been looking forward to helping his mother out with her gift shop each summer. Though he did hate some parts of working there, he still loved his short breaks or having to take out the trash if it meant seeing his teal-eyed beauty. It still hurt to remember, remember what they used to have, remember that they don’t have that now. It hurt seeing those eyes in his dreams, and it hurt reliving the best, and sometimes worst, parts of their relationship. It hurt Liam tremendously to live in such a way, but there was nothing he could do about the burden of being the one chosen to keep the memories.

 

All he could do was idly watch by as Eren, or “Evan”, grew into the boy he had remembered. The same soft smile that welcomed all people to be his friend, the same sparkle in his teal eyes that mirrored the ocean, the same rosy cheeks that developed after some form of physical activity (winkwink), the same messy brown hair that nested atop his head. Liam missed it, he missed all of it, yet he could only remain a bystander each time Evan and his family visited the ocean, which happened to be more often than not. But one day, when Evan had visited the ocean, as expected, he wasn’t with a family member, but Liam recognized them all the same.

 

Jean Kirstein, or as “Levi” used to say in the past, “Horse Face.” It shouldn’t have been too much of a surprise for Liam to see the other soldier there at the ocean with Evan, he’d seen most of the once Survey Corps members somewhere around town before, but what did surprise him was that the two seemed to be getting along. Fairly well at that. For the first few minutes Liam saw them together, it had seemed like two old friends goofing off and having fun, but the cringe coursing through Liam’s body when Jean kissed Evan spoke at a much louder volume.

 

A date. Of course it had been a date. What other reason would Jean -- Liam would continue to call him so since he didn’t know his “modern” name -- have for being so… Polite. It was a strange sight, one he knew Hange would be all over if he knew the crazed scientist in this lifetime, but it hurt. It hurt seeing Evan laughing with another person, it hurt to watch him hold Jean’s hand as they waded into the water together, it hurt watching that familiar blush cross Evan’s cheeks when Jean connected their lips if only for the smallest fraction of a second. It hurt watching Evan be with someone else in the way they used to be.

 

Liam left soon after he came to terms that Evan didn’t know him in this lifetime, so it was only natural to date other people, deciding to “give them their privacy” but in reality, he only wanted to forget the sight of Evan with a man that wasn’t himself. That night, when he and his mother returned home, Liam skipped dinner once again, just as he had done the day he regained the entirety of his memories, and cried himself to sleep.

 

~~~~

 

Another dreadful year had passed since Evan and Jean had gotten together, and, much to his dismay, Liam seemed to be in the front row of the audience when it came to watching their relationship blossom and grow. He hated it. He hated watching Jean pull Evan into the water playfully, he hated watching the two have water fights, he hated watching Evan laugh because of something Jean had said or done, he hated the way Evan smiled at the horse, he hated the way Jean smirked before pulling Evan in for a public kiss. He hated that Evan wasn’t his, and possibly could never be.

 

It hurt Liam too much to be a witness to Evan being stolen from him, so he didn’t take as many breaks, he didn’t stay long when taking the trash out, he didn’t mind when his mother decided to close shop early. He just didn’t care anymore. His heart was hurting and the one person he knew could heal him was being smothered and loved by another man. A man that wasn’t Liam, and a man he never liked in the first place.

 

Though, one night, Liam’s mother had decided to keep the store open for a bit longer than usual, possibly to make up for the lessened crowd that afternoon. Liam didn’t mind, or rather he didn’t care. It simply gave him more time to sweep and reorganize the souvenirs stacked on shelves and recount the money in the register and do anything he could to keep himself occupied. As long as he didn’t have to take the trash out again he’d be fine, but the world had never been so nice to him his entire life. Life loved to fuck with him, and regardless of his attempts to stay inside the store, Liam found himself standing outside disposing the trash into the dumpster nonetheless.

 

It was dark out, however, when he rid the garbage for, hopefully, the last time that night. Though he wished to leave immediately after, it had become habit to glance around the shore for a certain brunet he’d been watching over for the past few years. At first, Liam had thought he turned out lucky when he didn’t see Evan or Jean on a late night beach date, though not long after he proved himself wrong when silver eyes landed on a figure some distance away. Despite the overall darkness of the night, it wasn’t difficult for Liam to tell who exactly it was sitting on the beach alone at night, the signature messy hair giving him away within a second.

 

Liam didn’t move for some time, his eyes settled on simply watching the boy far off in the distance, his heart yearning to walk up to him but his mind wanting to linger back and not startle the boy. Turns out, all those years of yearning to be with his love again caused his heart to outweigh his mind and Liam found himself crossing the distance between them. Luckily, the sand muffled the sound of his footsteps and Evan’s back was turned towards Liam, the teal eyes focused on the water ahead.

 

The closer Liam was, the more hesitant he was to continue, his pace slowing down just a bit as he thought exactly what to do. He couldn’t simply walk up and start a discussion as if he’d known the boy for years, though technically he had, for more than just a few years at that. Would Evan mind him joining him on the sand? Would he be rejected if he asked to get to know Evan better -- though he already knew everything about him?

 

All those thoughts stopped the moment Liam heard a quiet sniffled come from the boy. By now, he was only a few feet away, but it seemed Evan still had yet to notice Liam’s presence. The sound alone made Liam want to hold Evan close and comfort him until the tears had dried, knowing how “Eren” used to be when he would shed some tears. Moments passed as Liam simply thought as to what he should do, and he settled on not stepping closer, but doing what he used to before they had gotten together in their previous lifetime.

 

“Why are you crying?” It was relatively nicer than anything he would’ve said in their past life, and Liam himself was shocked with the kindness he showed to the boy, but it wasn’t too much of a surprise considering Liam was still hopelessly in love with the past. He wasn’t surprised when Evan jumped either, startled with the sudden presence looming behind him when he’d thought he’d been alone. The boy sniffled once more and quickly wiped the already drying tears away as he took one quick glance towards Liam before facing the water once again. Ah, stubborn as always, a stubborn brat Liam deeply missed.

 

“I-I’d rather not bother you with my problems-” Evan’s voice was just as soft as Liam remembered it to be, and Liam would be lying if he didn’t smile upon hearing it in real life once more rather than in a hazy dream. His heart seemed to be taking control over his body and Liam soon found himself sitting beside the brunet in the sand, his legs outstretched and his hands supporting his weight to keep him in a sitting position. He stared out towards the water for a brief moment, cherishing the closeness of his old love before he turned to face him.

 

“I don’t mind your problems,” Liam responded with a much softer voice than he anticipated, but the light that shone in Evan’s eyes when he looked Liam’s way was worth the short moment of weakness. He’d missed this, missed being close to the brunet, missed seeing the light in his eyes that shone brighter when they looked at something their owner loved; how they filled with love when they looked towards “Levi” in the past. Surely they didn’t fill with love now, Evan not knowing Liam after all, but the lingering sadness that peered through the light shattered Liam’s heart beyond belief.

 

Evan soon looked away in favor of staring towards the water like before, his response being short yet explaining everything Liam needed to know.

 

“My boyfriend dumped me today.” Liam shouldn’t have been excited to hear the words leave the brunet’s mouth, and he shouldn’t have felt his heart leap into the air knowing Jean had no longer kept Evan to himself, and he certainly shouldn’t have smirked the smallest bit to himself when he realized he had a chance, right here, right now, to reclaim his love for himself.

 

“Evan,” Liam had started, bypassing the look of confusion he received when Evan realized he shouldn’t have known his name. Silver eyes focused on the water rather than the brunet beside him, too embarrassed about what he would say to be distracted by the beauty he had longed for for years.

 

“I know you don’t know me, and I know you may think it’s weird that I know your name when we’ve never met before, but… I just want you to know that I’ve known you for years now, more than you could imagine really.” Liam stopped for a brief moment to let out a soft chuckle, knowing just how long he’d been hurting over the loss of his love.

 

“I’m… a stranger to you, but I’m so hopelessly in love with you.” Liam let out a quiet sigh of relief once he’d gotten his confession off his chest, hesitating just a moment before glancing to the side to catch Evan’s startled and confused expression. He looked as if he were a third grader taking the SAT, unaware of what to do in the situation. It would’ve been funny, if Liam weren’t silently wishing by some miracle that Evan remembered what Liam had since practically his birth.

 

He didn’t.

 

“I-I’m, pardon me… What?” Evan seemed as if he was at a loss with words, and Liam wouldn’t blame him, but the reality that Evan was just as clueless as everyone else sunk in, and it hurt Liam. It hurt him knowing his love had no clue who he was, had no recollection of their time together and what they had accomplished not only as a military team but a romantic one as well. It hurt too much to stay there beside Evan, to sit beside the boy he loved for so long and not be able to be _with him_ like he wished to be.

 

“Forgive me,” Liam’s voice had grown far softer than he intended, but he couldn’t care less at the moment. Life was cruel, yet contained the most beautiful things. Liam didn’t know if it was worth it. He’d begun to push himself off the sand to head back to the store, but once again his heart betrayed his wishes and soon enough, Liam was leaning forward and closing the space between the two teens.

 

He could tell Evan was startled with the action, but it seemed he was too nice to pull away and fully reject him, or so Liam had thought. He had only been able to enjoy the feeling of Evan’s soft lips against his own, a feeling he’d longed for for so long now, for a mere few seconds before Evan abruptly pulled away, those beautiful teal eyes wide in shock and something else Liam couldn’t place and didn’t seem to care to try. Liam let out an almost disappointed yet expecting sigh before pushing himself up the rest of the way, dusting off his trousers before turning to walk away; however, he hadn’t even completed one step before a soft hand wrapped shyly around his wrist, a silent plea for him to stop. Liam had been about to turn around and see what the boy wanted, but the brunet spoke before he ever got the chance.

 

“C-Captain wait!” For a long moment, Liam didn’t move, not sure if his ears had been playing tricks on him or not, but when Evan had spoken again he knew that maybe life had decided it had tortured him enough and had finally decided on giving him what he wanted.

 

“Heichou…” Liam would be lying if he said tears didn’t fill his eyes at that moment. He took a second to drink in the name he had longed to hear for so long, letting the tears roll down his cheeks as a smile crossed his lips. He didn’t bother to hide either of them when he turned around to meet Evan’s gaze, smiling down at the chocolate haired boy he loved with all his heart as he spoke.

  
“Call me Levi.” And Eren did just that from that day forward.

**Author's Note:**

> If you have any feedback, or just want to say you liked the story, then please leave a comment! I'd love to know your opinions and I'm very easy going when it comes to constructive criticism. 
> 
> Have a nice day! ^.^ 
> 
> P.S. I self beta all of my works because I don't have one of my own, so if you see any mistakes I made (and hadn't noticed after hours of writing plus another hour of reading this countless times) please let me know so I can fix them!


End file.
